things were going amazingly with me and connor, we've been spending a lot of time together, just like we both said we wanted. but now all of a sudden last night he lost a big game and hes upset. which is understandable. but he was talkign to me online talking about how he wants a break from everything and he doesnt know what to do or what hes feeling? and i was like um, wait do you mean for you and me? and he said he didnt know.

okay momentary break, my landlord is in my backyard with his fucking kids and i really want to scream bc they are so incredibly obnoxious and besides the fact that i want to cry over whats going on this isnt making it better...

okay back to what is going on in my miserable insignificant life..
so he told me we needed to have a talk and to call him once i got home. i think maybe hes mad at me bc i went to a party last night with the idea that he was going to be ther and it was all his friends and he ended up not being able to go and i got shit faced and he was at home upset about his game idk what the deal was, but that cant be it. somethings wrong and hes not telling me. the worst part is that he was like i just want a break from life, i want to go somewhere that i dont have ot think about anything ever. and that freaks the shit out of me, does that mean his thinking suicidal? like idk what to do and i'm really scared.

i dont know what to do, so i called him when i got home and he didnt answer i left a voice message and he hasnt called me back yet. i dont think calling him again would be a good idea. i guess all i can do it wait around...cool.

fuck